Conchords are Back!

Here's something I haven't done in a while: a TV review!

Earlier today I discovered that my TV gets HBO Canada, and, even more fortuitously, the season 2 premiere of Flight of the Conchords was coming on at 11:30! I was excited. If you don't watch this show yet, you should. It's about a self-described "two-man novelty band" - Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement - two unassuming gents from New Zealand who deliver some amazingly funny lines and clever songs as they (barely) try to make a name for themselves in New York City.

As the episode begins, the boys are still on the outs with their manager, Murray (played with perfect innocence by Rhys Darby). To use an old Newfoundland expression, Murray is as useless as tits on a bull. He has zero knowledge about band management, the music industry in general, and... actually... he's clueless about everything. Bret and Jemaine finally fire him as their manager, and he spends the rest of the episode trying to win them back.

There are a lot of great moments:

• Murray's song at the beginning, where he manages to find plenty of words to rhyme with "rejected". Starts out quietly, until Murray steps out onto his balcony for a great panoramic view of NYC (the show seems to be saying: "We have a budget now!"), where Murray switches his singing style to a loud opera voice (think Pavarotti on steroids). Funny stuff.
  

• Sight gags! Bret makes some "band merchandise", stuffed Conchords dolls, but neglects to tell Jemaine where he acquired the denim used for the tiny doll clothing. A cushion makes a casual return to the library. The boys dress up like toothpaste popping out the tube for a commercial. Plenty of great visual moments.
  

• Mel's back! I thought she was lost forever to the Crazy Dogggz (is that enough g's?), but the Conchords one-and-only fan from Season 1 came back on the scene. Played with a scary combination of cheerfulness and spite (seriously!) by Kristen Schaal, she's only in one quick scene but it's a great one! You will feel bad for Doug (her long-suffering husband) once again.
  

• Dave's back! Seemingly the Conchords' only friend, Dave (Arj Barker) owns a nearby pawn shop and is always macho-posturing and dishing out life advice. He is awesome in this episode as he teaches the guys a lesson on "making a deal" and sells Bret a 25-cent pen for four dollars. "You need to learn the whole lesson," indeed.
  

• New intro! Not a huge deal, but Season 2 has a new opening that I kinda dig.
  

• Of course, Bret and Jemaine! Yes, they're as deadpan and random as ever. Their conversation about what women like is a classic.
  

The not-so-great:

• The song at the end about angels gettin' it on in heaven was weird, even for these guys. Their funniest songs are the ones where they capture real-life events or bits of speech that seem so natural (the "hey, I would say that!" type of stuff). This one is a little too "out to lunch" to really work. Plus, as a Neil Gaiman fan, I also know that angels don't have a gender, or reproductive organs for that matter. I'd be able to forgive the nit-picky details if the song was funnier.
  

So there we have it, Flight of the Conchords Season 2 is off to a great start with a funny half-hour that flew by in a flash.

Thanksgiving

My grandmother doesn't recognize me anymore.

This may seem like a depressing thing to discover on an otherwise cheerful Thanksgiving weekend, but I've been expecting it for a while. My grandmother's memory has been getting hazier and hazier over the past few years, to the point that now she's literally living her life one moment at a time. She functions and communicates within each moment surprisingly well, but is unable to connect the present with something that happened even 5 minutes ago.

My aunt, uncle, and myself visited Nan this past weekend at her retirement home in the small community of Harbour Main. As we walked into a busy sitting room we knew exactly where to find her. She was sitting in the back corner of the room watching people come and go.

The three of us sat around her and started to talk. My Nan was always a social butterfly, and she relished the chance to have a chat. And chat she did.

She told us she put up all the Halloween decorations in the windows. (She didn't.)

She said she was out to mass in the morning after the priest had to come and get her. (She wasn't.)

She pointed at one of the old ladies in the home, called her "Aunt Deet", and said she was looking quite well. Aunt Deet was a relative who died before I was even born.

But boy, through it all she hasn't lost her ability to carry on a conversation.

My aunt reached over and touched her hand to quiet her down for an instant, and said "Alright Mother, I'm going to put this bag of sweaters in your room because it's getting colder out now and you're going to need them."

"Dear, did you bring my t-shirt too?" my Nan asked. "The last time you were over I think you took my t-shirt."

We all looked around - no one knew about this mysterious t-shirt.

My aunt left the room and it was just me, my uncle, and my Nan. Before we could start the conversation up again, a big, stocky gentleman walked into the room and Nan instantly cried out: "My, he's after getting to be some size, isn't he?!?"

Me and my uncle looked at each and grinned awkwardly, wishing the back wall of the room would consume us somehow. Luckily, the stocky gentleman was good-natured (as most Newfoundlanders are) and as he sat down he looked over at my grandmother and called out with a smile: "So how are you today, my love?"

My Nan responded, "I'm the best kind, and thanks for asking!" Her social skills are still in tip-top shape, thankfully.

My aunt returned and conversation carried on a little more until Nan was prompted to say my name. My aunt asked ever so gently, "Mother, who is this young man? What's his name?"

My Nan looked at me for a few seconds, hesitated for another few seconds, and I just had to say something. "Well, my hair is a bit different, that's probably why you don't recognize me!" With that my Nan reached out her hand and mussed up my hair a little bit.

We let the conversation drift off in other directions after that, and eventually it was time for dinner. My Nan loves dinner time, so this immediately got her attention. Before I left, though, I just had to say one last thing.

"Remember Nan, you used to call me 'Mark G'. That's what you always called me, when I was little."

Her face lit up, and the words rolled off her tongue: "Mark G". She said it with a big smile.

And then it was off to dinner for her, and back to the world for me. It was a strange day, yet I was feeling thankful. A part of me is always going to be there in her memory, even if it's always an image of a shy, brown-haired, little boy. She may never again be able to comprehend that I am now a 25-year-old man.

But me and my grandmother made a connection there, in that fleeting moment, and for that I am giving thanks.

Dirty Old-Fashioned Politics

I'll make it clear from the start that I've never been a fan of Sarah Palin. I don't normally wax political on this blog, but I just read a story from the Palin camp that makes my blood boil.

Palin has just accused Barack Obama of having ties to a domestic terrorist.

Does that sound just a TAD unbelievable to you as well? Apparently Obama served on a charity board with a University of Illinois professor who used to be a member of an anti Vietnam War militant group called "Weather Underground". The anti Vietnam War movement raged while Obama was but a small child, but Palin doesn't concern herself with such things (I believe they're called "facts"?).

The truly scary part is this: replace the words "domestic terrorist" with "communist" in Palin's accusation above, and we're into Red Scare territory. The fear-mongering tactics used by Joe McCarthy in the 50's are not as far from today's world as we would like to think.

The recipe is simple (and remains the same):

1) Take one respected public figure.
2) Add one obscure tie to a member of an extreme left-wing group.
3) Mix and serve to the public.

That Republicans haven't learned a lesson from McCarthyism is unfortunately not a big surprise to me. The real question now is: can the American Public learn from the past and not give in to reactionary scare tactics like this? I, for one, think so. I sign off now with a quote from a much greater man than myself: "Good night, and good luck."

With thanks to BBC News. Click on the pictures to visit the Wikipedia entries on both political figures.

Is Life a Really a Battle?

All I knew going in was this: it's a game where Japanese school kids have to kill each other off one by one.

The movie is Battle Royale (2000) and it was somehow EXACTLY what I expected, and then somehow became a little bit more.

The setup is quick and painless: it's Japan of the seemingly near future and for a somewhat hazy reason the government has instituted the "BR Act" - every year a "Battle Royale" takes place where a randomly chosen group of school children (yes, children) are stranded on an island and have to kill each other until there's only one survivor left.

The Grade 9 class at the start of the movie comprises 42 children. This number quickly dwindles down, and down.

Some kill out of fear. Some kill out of anger. Some kill by accident. Some kill themselves. And a select few kill out of pure evil.

It's got all the grisly death scenes you expect from a survival horror movie like this, but this is NOT your normal horror movie.

Imagine all the little Junior High storylines you lived through - but all ending in death. The passionate crushes, the fighting between cliques, the loners with a bone to pick, and the seemingly unbreakable friendships - all ending in the most brutal and final of ways. We get to see tiny glimpses of these stories (especially the stories of young love) and of course, the bittersweet endings.

The movie begs a lot of interesting questions, with the main one being: what would YOU do if you were thrown into a situation like that?

Can intelligence get you out of a violent situation, or is violence the only way? Is life really a game, more dependent on random chance than skill or smarts? If your life is at stake, would friendship and love be meaningless?

Like I said - not your normal grisly horror movie. I recommend it.

Falling

I had the strangest dream last night.

I was watching someone jump out of an airplane. And for some reason it looked a lot like Hurley from Lost. He was a big guy, anyway. It was the usual "looking at him from above" angle, but the unusual part was that he clearly wasn't wearing a parachute.

So I felt like this was going to be a grisly one.

But then - another skydiver edges into the frame and gets behind Hurley, wrapping his arms around his chest. Must have a parachute on, I thought. But no - he wasn't wearing one either. 5 or 6 more skydivers enter the frame and they all form a chain behind the other 2. Once again, there's not one parachute among them. So now there's a chain of 8 skydivers in a sitting position falling quickly toward the ground.

As they approach the inevitable landscape below, the "camera angle" changes to one from the ground. The chain of skydivers is getting closer and closer to the ground. But as they close in, they start to decelerate. Once they're about a foot from the ground, they're almost floating in place. They land softly, all sitting together in a chain.

Part of me wants to analyze this - do our dreams give us insights into great truths that our conscious mind can only hint at? Was this dream trying to tell me that the only path to salvation is the human connections we form with those around us?

Quite possible. And even more possible is that every dream is just our brain "taking out the trash" of the day, filtering out thoughts, images, and impressions in a completely random fashion - strung together as little "stories" only because our conscious mind is still barely hanging on, trying to make sense out of the senseless?

There's no answer to that. It's one of the few mysteries left in our modern world, and it's not something that we should take for granted.

Amazon-nesia

am·a·zon·ne·sia
–noun
Complete or partial loss of memory relating directly to purchases from online retailer Amazon.

I love Amazon-nesia.

Saw a package today from Amazon addressed to me and couldn't for the life of me remember what the hell I ordered. I'm not sure if that's good / that's bad / I need help.

I enjoy it. It's like Christmas morning every time I open a package from Amazon. "Past Mark" (a very wise man who doesn't mind spending money) buys these lovely gifts for "Future Mark" (a forgetful man who reaps all the benefits). Thank you Past Mark.

So what was in the package today?

1. The Best of the Black President - Fela Kuti

Not enough people know the name Fela Kuti. I was first introduced to his music in France back in 2005 and it blew me away. It's an amazing (and hard to describe) mixture of Jazz, Funk, Rock, and African sounds with the 70's stamped all over it - and it is PURE fun to listen to. This guy is just as good as Bob Marley, and I do not say that lightly.

You have GOT to hear this.

2. Spaced - The Complete Series

I'm a massive fan of Simon Pegg's Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, so as soon as I heard that the series that made him famous was FINALLY out in a North America friendly DVD - I had to pick it up. I haven't read too much about it in my attempt to approach it as unspoiled as possible, but it seems like every review of Spaced includes the word "AWESOME". Probably a good sign. It's pegged (pun NOT quite intended) as the ultimate geeky British comedy, so I'm sure I will enjoy it immensely when I do watch it...

...RIGHT after I finish The Wire Season 4. God, that show is amazing. I'm sure Amazon-nesia will kick in again soon when Season 5 arrives at my doorstep. Future Mark will thank me.

Now THAT is How You Start a Song.

"Last night they used two bouncers,
and one of 'em is alright,
the other one's a scary 'n
his-way-or-no-way totalitarian..."

Go download "From The Ritz to the Rubble" by the Arctic Monkeys.
Seriously. Go do it now.

Now I must tear myself away from my gritty British music to go back to The Wire Season 4. I'm only on Episode 3 and I can't wipe the smile off my face, it's that good. More on that soon.

Gang Tats

I really don't know what to make of this:


Just when I start to think that I'm the geekiest man on Earth, a quick look around the Interwebs proves that I am wrong. SO VERY WRONG.

This gallery on Wired.com shows off some of the dorkiest ink ever slapped on human flesh, with nine tattoos in total ranging from "nice!" (the DNA strand) to "Oh lord no!" (the flaming ten-sided dice).

In the unlikely event that I ever get a tattoo it will probably be something equally geeky (maybe something from Neil Gaiman's Sandman?), so I really can't say a bloody thing.

Spin Doctors

So I'm going to skip the requisite "I promise to write in here more often" statement.

I think we're past that point now. We'll just play it by ear from here on in.

Anyhow, read something hilarious in the Globe and Mail's "Report on Business" today. Something that made me question the very nature of my business pursuits.

Here's the lead-up: Rafael Nadal is a famous Spanish tennis player, won the men's title at Wimbledon, won Gold in the Olympics, but looks a bit sleazy with long dirty hair and his ever-present sleeveless shirts and quite long shorts.

So recently Nike's marketing machine said they were going to give the poor boy a "makeover". Cut his hair. Give him actual shorts. They were even going to make him wear a T-SHIRT with sleeves! He was supposed to premiere his "New Look" at the U.S. Open in New York.

It didn't happen. He was wearing the usual old stuff. Nike's explanation is bloody hilarious, and I quote:

“Given the condensed time-frame leading up to New York, with Nadal just coming off the Olympics, there has not been adequate time for Nadal to fully transition to the new apparel, which introduces a fundamentally different silhouette in both short and shirt,” a spokeswoman said in an e-mailed statement.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?

He didn't like wearing the new shorts and shirt! What the hell does this "silhouette" thing even mean?!? This kind of spin drives me nuts, and apparently it's not restricted to politics anymore.

Is this what being successful in business is all about? Knowing how to spout garbage and make it sound like a Shakespearean soliloquy?

My comfort comes from the fact that I am both a Business Major and an Arts Major. I always felt I was learning the ways of business to "work on it from the inside": make it do some good things, and maybe even to prove that it is possible to be successful without outright deception. We're all people here, can't we just act and talk like normal human beings, even in business interactions?

I certainly hope so.

Winter Update

I really don't write in here enough.

Work and life (and sleeping and eating and laughing and learning and all other necessities) seems to get in the way at every turn.

I quickly glanced back at what I wrote back in August and the words have a strange new resonance after the events that followed. That day in Oakville, Ontario at the end of August when I was resting and reading the paper and catching my breath between two conventions feels a lot different now. As I wrote and passed the time that day my young cousin was upstairs, peacefully sleeping in until the late afternoon.

It's a teenager's right in the summer: to stay up all night and sleep in until the sun is well on its way past noon. I envied him that day; I used to love when the pressures of life weren't so heavy on my shoulders.

He's gone now though, my cousin James, taken away far too early by an incomprehensible infection that no one could see coming. I was lucky to have had time with him, though I didn't know how precious it was then. We watched Heroes and talked movies, and TV shows, and music, and all those comfortable conversation topics you cover when you think you'll see this person again and again throughout your life.

A lot of things are different now.

I'm single again, and I'm doing surprisingly alright. Devoting a lot more time to my endless watching of DVDs, you could even say I have a bit of an addiction. The DVD series of the moment is the Twin Peaks: Definitive Gold Box Edition, and it's amazing to have the whole series (Pilot included!) in one massive and beautiful set. I'm devouring it really, and it's even better than I remembered.

Twin Peaks is one of those shows that used to keep me up at night in my teenage years, in the summer. It used to come on A&E really REALLY late and the lateness combined with the odd nature of the show made it the ultimate guilty pleasure. It opened my mind to a lot of the strange and wonderful movies and shows that I live on today. I'd watch and laugh and get scared and marvel at all the twists and turns that the human mind could fathom. Most of all, I'd wonder what was going to happen next.

Then I'd go to bed and sleep in until the late afternoon.

End of Summer Musings

A Blog Post in 3 parts over multiple days probably defeats the purpose of a blog, but I've been traveling a LOT over the past 2 weeks, and my internet time has been limited at best.

From August 24-26 I was in Toronto working in a booth for AbbyShot at a convention called "Fan Expo". The weekend after that (August 31 - September 4) I was off to Atlanta for ANOTHER convention called "Dragon*Con" (which I fondly mentioned on this very blog last year).

I'll probably post soon with full reviews of both cons, but here are a few random thoughts from along the way.

Part 1 - Monday, August 27, 2007 - 10:00pm

Starting a new blog post, because Karen reminded me.

On the GO Train to Oakville now, after a crazy 4 (or was it 5?) days in Toronto. Karen's actually a good friend that I met 2 years ago during an amazing 4 months in France during an exchange term. It's cool that after all this time (2 years!), we're talking like that time in Rennes was only yesterday. We're both in agreement that it was one of the best times in both of our lives. I could say SO much about it all, but it's something you can only REALLY get if you were there. You know how it is.

It was funny, myself and Karen had a dinner of great pasta and went for a quick drink at a pub afterwards. Her boyfriend Mike (who she met during those 4 months in France) text messaged while we were at the bar, with an inside joke. Good times, the memories definitely live on. We discussed going back to Rennes, but we decided it would have to be a reunion trip. It wouldn't be the same place without the same people there. The people and the place have just been so intertwined in my mind that one without the other would feel not-quite-whole. Hard to explain, but true.


Part 2 - Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 1:25pm

Quote of the day, from the Toronto Star:

"The original score is balls to the walls; it just doesn't stop as the orchestra is sawing away like they're clearing a forest. We're trying to let the film breathe a bit more."

- Andrew McPherson (of the band Eccodek) discusses his new score to Fritz Lang's 1927 science fiction classic 'Metropolis'

I'm gladly taking the day to relax and read the paper.


Part 3 - Sunday, September 2, 2007 - 8:30am

Wow, Atlanta is certainly a city of contradictions. Especially in Dragon*Con season. Yesterday we went from the aforementioned "con" (one of the biggest sci-fi / fantasy conventions in the USA, and probably THE best for costuming) to the Atlanta Underground area (which is known for its cheap market by day, and known for its layers of clubs by night). It's impossible to describe the difference between the two extremes, but interesting that everybody worships 'something' in their off-hours. Whether it's the movie "Evil Dead" or the latest rap tune, it's just good to get out there with a few like-minded people to enjoy it.

I'm beginning to think I've over-analyzed my night. Perhaps it's the beverages I was drinking.

Speaking of contradictions, I was talking to a girl at one of the bars we visited (an Irish pub playing ONLY rap music - go figure, it's Atlanta), and she was named "Portia" after the Shakespearean character. She thought her name was ghetto because everyone thinks she was named after the sports car. It's all about your perspective, isn't it?

Where Does the Summer Go?

Once again, it's been far too long since I've thrown my stream-of-consciousness onto this little blog. After a jog this morning (running always gets the thoughts going), I basically realized that summer is nearly over! With work and life and all that, I guess I didn't realize the very obvious.

So there's no better time to start blogging again!

So let's look at the state of the world in terms of entertainment. I'm not talking about which blonde starlet is going to prison this week (I honestly can't keep track). I'm talking music, books, and most importantly (for me): MOVIES!

Books

Actually, we can cross books off the list because I'm so out-of-touch with the recently published that it's appalling. My (literal) pile of "books to read" is so massive that I've had to self-enforce an embargo on buying new books until I pare at least half of the pile down.

The current book I'm taking on: Jonathan Strange and Mr Norell by Susanna Clarke. I bought this brick of a book when it was first published (back in '04!) and I think its 782 pages scared me off. Well, I'm 291 pages in and I must admit that I was scared over nothing. It's an incredibly well-written book that flows effortlessly from chapter to chapter. It's all about "English Magic" in the very early 1800's when the Napoleonic Wars raged on between Britain and France. Until 1807 (according to the book) magic was a forgotten art that was much discussed by stuffy gentleman scholars but heaven forbid it should ever be practiced!

All of this changes when a reclusive magician named Mr Norrell starts actually performing magical acts. He becomes a London sensation when he helps with the war effort, despite his anti-social tendencies and his extreme fear of other magicians.

Eventually he does get a pupil in the form of the talented and charming Jonathan Strange. Of course, he turns out to be everything Norrell is not: Strange is a very social person, attracted to the more showy and dangerous types of magic. A rivalry is certainly being set up for the next few hundred pages, and I'm looking forward to seeing how these complex characters progress. This is definitely not a novel for those low on patience as the plot points wander by at a comfortable pace; one review said that this is a book to be "lived in for a few weeks" and I really have to agree! It creates an entire world that I love coming back to again and again.

Music

Okay, I'm going to REALLY cross this one off. Me and Music are having some troubles lately. If I see one more emo, bangs-in-front-of-the-eyes, "guyliner" coated singer, I'm actually going to rip my radio out of the car. Next.

Movies

Even the movie scene has been rough over the past few months! Although, what can I expect? It's summer right? Most major blockbusters were entertaining and action-packed fluff-pieces (Transformers, Live Free or Die Hard and Harry Potter immediately come to mind) while some were just plain disappointing (I'm thinking Spider-Man 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean 3). The only "summer movie" that really blew me away was The Bourne Ultimatum, a slick, well-executed, and above-all SMART action film.

The good movies are all LONG out of the theatres by now, and just hitting the DVDs by this time of the year. There's a triad of Mexican directors that I'll talk about next time that are taking Hollywood directors to SCHOOL right now in terms of artistic vision in their films. All three of these films just came out on DVD recently and all are amazing. I'm talking about Pan's Labyrinth, Babel, and Children of Men. I don't know what they're putting in the water in Mexico (and I probably don't WANT to know), but apparently if you can survive it, then you're bound to make good movies!

There's a final note that I just have to mention here, as I continue to work for AbbyShot Clothiers and drool over their coats. They now offer what is quite possibly the best-looking leather coat EVER, based on the jacket that Wolverine wears in X-Men 3. Check out the AbbyShot version below!

Very nice! I tried it on and for a few fleeting moments I felt just as rugged and manly as Wolverine. If that's not worth the price tag, then I don't know what is! So if anyone you know needs a sweet leather jacket that just happens to be inspired by Wolverine, then you know what to tell them: check out AbbyShot! There's my shameless plug for today.

I must go and continue my Sunday activities of reading and lazing around. I'll be writing again soon. For real this time!

Mark Makes a Movie for AbbyShot!

I know it's been too long. I know I really should write in here more often. I will.

I had to post this up here because I'm proud. I shot and edited together a video for the release of a brand new AbbyShot coat called the Squall Jacket. Anyone who's played (or seen) Final Fantasy 8 should recognize it! We managed to find a model that looks EXACTLY like the character from the game, it was crazy.

If anything, it was well worth a (rudimentary) video. Hey, I'm still proud of my work! Please watch and let me know what you think. Could this be the start of a new career? Mark as a film director!

A guy can dream, can't he?

December Post

December is always a wonderful month, even though one December is rarely the same as another. This time last year I had just said goodbye to a fleeting time in France, and even now, a full year later, I still treasure that time and miss it intensely. This time last year I was still in University (just about to begin my last term), and now I’m a regular working man in a FAR from regular job that I love. If you’re wondering why I haven’t been blogging much lately, well, I HAVE been blogging. It’s just for work instead. Check it out if you’re interested in the wonderful creations AbbyShot has in store for 2007, it’s called the AbbyShot Clothiers Blog. There are a lot of wonderful plans being made at my work for 2007, so it should certainly be an interesting year on that front. As for me personally, let’s just say that I don’t like to plan too far ahead – we’ll just have to see what the next year brings!

So, back to the month of December.

The first great thing this time around was: NO EXAMS! Distilling half (or more) of your final mark down to a stressed-out two hours never made any sense to me. Plus, I never remember anything I studied once the exam ends, so it’s just kind of a waste for me. Good to be done with that, unless I go completely mad and end up in school again. You never know.

Second bit of goodness this past month: MY BIRTHDAY! It was a laid-back affair held at my house earlier in the month where everyone got pleasantly drunk and hung out. My friend Keith brought on an obsessive streak in some party-goers with a game called “Petals Around the Rose” played with five dice, where you need to figure out a certain pattern in the numbers to (sort of) win. Actually, you just join the elite club of people who managed to figure out the game. But wow, did some people ever get obsessed with this thing! I won’t mention any names. Other than that, the barbecue was lit, lots of food and drink were consumed, guitars were played, darts were thrown (at a dartboard luckily), and everyone seemed to have fun. Good times.

Thirdly, of course, is what everyone enjoys in this last month of the year: CHRISTMAS! Lots of great gifts given and received, great times spent with family and friends, and huge amounts of food eaten that would scare even the hungriest competitive eaters. Except for that Japanese Tsunami guy, he’s crazy. I even have a nice break from work that I’m enjoying as I write this. It feels amazing to do absolutely nothing for a little while. I’ve been staying up late, sleeping in to ungodly hours, doing lots of Sudoku (my parents got me a HUGE book of the puzzles for Christmas), playing a 60’s spy-themed game for the computer called No One Lives Forever that features hilarious random conversations between nameless henchmen, and reading three books at the same time.

Two of the books are by Neil Gaiman of course, an older graphic novel about childhood memories called Mr. Punch and his newest book of short stories called Fragile Things that features, for one, an INCREDIBLE short story melding Sherlock Holmes and H.P. Lovecraft called “A Study in Emerald” which is generously available online from Neil Gaiman’s website. I’m also re-reading Irvine Welsh’s Trainspotting which is familiar to movie fans as a disturbing yet darkly funny story of heroine addicts in Edinburgh. The book is even better than the film, with different characters relaying little vignettes in a strange phonetic Scottish style of writing that is remarkably effective once you get into it. The stories are passionate, dark, yet still humourous, and so personal that it really does feel like each character is whispering it into your ear. This can be unsettling, however, since a few of these guys you would NOT want to meet even on a good day in Edinburgh.

All in all, the Christmas season has been a blast for me, and I hope it’s been great for everyone out there reading these words (insert obligatory joke along the lines of “all five of you” here). I’m wishing everyone all the best in 2007, and my first New Year’s resolution will probably be to write in here more often! Until next time…

Conversation in a Montreal Cab

- I’m trying to remember you now; I didn’t recognize your voice when you called. You were here over the summer, yes?

- Yes I was. I was visiting my girlfriend. You dropped me off at Rue St-Dominique.

- Ah! I remember now! But I pick you up at a hotel this time, you are not broken up I hope?

- No, no. I’m here on business this time. She’s back home in Newfoundland finishing off her studies. She came to Montreal to work just for the summer.

- That’s nice – Hey! Thanks for cutting me off, jerk!

- Some people are just crazy on the roads. I have no idea why, it just happens.

- It does happen. My aunt, her sons moved away to Germany to study not long ago. Her and my uncle got tired of living alone in a big house, so they move to Egypt. They get a nice place, well, not a nice place but they find a place they like. She just moved to Egypt a few months ago. She was out walking and a car hit her and she died. I just found out today, it’s been a tough day.

- Oh my god, I’m so sorry to hear that…

- No, no, it’s okay. There’s nothing anyone can do about it. Her time was up. It’s just strange how the best people always go too soon. She was only 52.

- That’s too young. You’re absolutely right, a lot of good people are gone much too early. Are you from Egypt?

- No, no, I come from Palestine. The West Bank. That is where I am from.

- How long have you been over here?

- Here, you mean Montreal? Four years. But before that it’s a long story. I came to Canada first in 1989 to study. I was in Vancouver. I studied hard and did well, and I got two degrees. But just after I finished, my mother died. My father owned a farm back home and he was all alone. I had to go back to help him, for my family.

- That must have been a difficult decision for you.

- Not really. I have brothers and sisters, yes. But they were all married and had already started their own lives. I was the designated one, it just had to be me that went back.

- Not everyone would have so readily gone back because of family duties, I really respect that.

- Oh it was nothing. It had to be done. It really became clear to me how important family is. I never respected my mother enough, I was in my twenties, you know? But my attitudes changed quickly. And like I said, I wasn’t married. But hopefully the next time I’m talking to you, I will be.

- Really? You and your girlfriend are getting married soon?

- Well, not quite. Have you ever had a blind date? No, wait, it’s not really like that! And not really an arranged marriage. My friends back home really want me to get married. And there are two girls from good families who have not yet found husbands. One is only 21, so that is too young! But the other is 28, and there is an age difference there but it isn’t so bad.

- No, 28 is a good age.

- Yes, so I must meet the families, meet the girls, it’s all very well-supervised but with any luck…

- It should work! You have a better chance at a good relationship that way instead of meeting some random girl in a club.

- Yes! I’m not really big on the night-club thing. It’s like ‘putting on your snake-suit’ I call it.

- It’s fake.

- Yes, exactly, it’s so fake. I guess I could have met a nice girl in University, there were lots of nice people there to meet. Where would I meet someone now, I just drive people around in a cab! University is a great place to meet people.

- That’s true, I met my girlfriend in one of my French classes. Much better that a night-club!

- See, a class. That’s nice. I never really found anyone at University. But maybe it’s for the best. She probably would not have wanted to come back home with me when I had to go back.

- Your life would have been completely different. Sometimes I think everything happens for a reason.

- Yes, I believe so. We’ll see what the future holds. Maybe you’ll call me next year if you’re back in Montreal and I won’t be here anymore! Maybe I’ll be married back home! My niece will probably keep my phone, she’ll tell you where I am.

- I will definitely call you when I’m in Montreal again. Hopefully everything works out for the best.

- I think so. Well, Air Canada is right through this door here. Have a nice trip back to your home.

- Good luck with everything. I hope it all works out.

- Thank you. Good night.

Quick post from Reykjavik

I wasn't sure if I was going to get time for this.

I'm a little sad here on my last day in Reykjavik. I came on a Canadian Trade Mission with AbbyShot and everything went VERY well, the Icelanders we met were so friendly and direct and lovely to deal with; we really couldn't have asked for a better time in a foreign country.

And then last night, the business dealings were all finished! We went to the Blue Lagoon in the evening to chill in the geothermally heated waters and then afterwards a few of the fellas came to my room for pizzas and various types of "beverage".

Then we hit the town in Reykjavik, and it is far FAR livelier than I would have imagined for a country of 300,000! The highlight was definitely chatting and giving my business card to Eli Roth, who's in town filming his newest horror movie, Hostel 2. He assured us that it was going to be the sickest thing ever put on the screen, and I have to believe him! We was a nice guy and didn't mind talking to his fans and the legions of ladies hanging around. Also in the bar: Hyde from That 70's Show! Now that was random.

AbbyShot has a lot of good connections now in Reykjavik, along with one particular ladies boutique called Spaksmannsspjarir that will carry our beautiful yellow Kill Bill Leather Jackets. If there's a place to get noticed, it is right here! It should be a great stepping stone for AbbyShot's expansion around the world.

What a trip. One last walk around this beautiful city waits for me before we have to go.

I think I'll be back soon.

It Always Goes By Too Quickly...

How is THIS going to work? A complicated situation in Alfonso Cuaron's Y Tu Mama Tambien.

It’s a movie about teens who drink, smoke up, and try to have sex with anything that moves. We've seen this all before, right?

The thing is, every frame of Y Tu Mama Tambien is filled with a real melancholy that few films are able to evoke. You can feel that these "glory days" of youth are slipping away forever, as youth tends to do, and no matter how much time you spend trying to hang onto them, the world will continue to move along without you.

The two leads play teenage boys who are charming and charismatic despite their selfish and obnoxious behaviour (amazing performances by Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna), as they con an attractive older lady (Ana Lopez Mercado) into joining them on a road trip to a beach that they invent just to impress her. Of course, male hormones dictate that along the way the two boys are going to try to have sex with her. Undoubtedly, the older and wiser woman will somehow turn the tables on these two arrogant specimens.

However, the film transcends the “teen road movie” genre by taking a huge step back from its own subject matter. The movie runs along normally, with two people conversing back and forth for example, when all of a sudden the soundtrack cuts off and everything goes silent. An omniscient narrator then cuts in to describe, calmly and logically, the histories of certain characters, previous events that have happened at the Mexican locations seen in the film, or even matter-of-fact glimpses into the future of certain characters or situations. This narration, combined with a camera that sometimes lifts up with a mind of its own to roam around a particular setting, give the actual main plot of the film a feeling of triviality and insignificance compared to the innumerable stories in the country of Mexico where it all takes place.

Don’t let the unabashedly explicit sex turn you off (for some it may even be a selling point!), Y Tu Mama Tambien is a moving look at friendships that can never last, road trips that you never want to end, and good times that slip through your fingers the more tightly you try to hold on.

The Fall TV Season Part 2: LOST all over again...

Jack (Matthew Fox) is locked away while newly-introduced Juliet (Elizabeth Mitchell) looks on in the Season 3 premiere of LOST.

The third season of LOST has begun in much the same way as the second: with a tantalizing look into a world that we're dying to understand. The massive question hanging over Season 1 was "What is in the hatch?", a question adressed enigmatically in the Season 2 opener with a look into the daily life of the man who was living down there. Season 3 opened in much the same way, with the nagging question of "Who are these Others?" adressed this time with the daily life of a sad homemaker in a seemingly normal suburban neighborhood whose book club meeting gets interrupted by the crash of Oceanic Flight 815. Normal suburban neighborhood this is NOT, it's how the others live: the camera pulls back to reveal a small patch of suburbia on the otherwise savage Island we've shared with the castaways these past two seasons.

A more intriguing opening teaser you'd be hard-pressed to find this season, saying so little and yet so much. The Others live with all the comforts of urban civilization, including CD players, electric ovens, and plumbing. Yet whenever we have seen them in the previous season they have disguised themselves as a ragged, worn-down tribe, complete with fake beards. They seem peaceful and intellectual; as we open the "homemaker", Juliet, is preparing for a book-club meeting with her neighbors. Yet we have seen them kidnap people viciously and know they are quite well-versed in fighting and survival skills. Once everyone runs out of their houses to see the plane breaking apart overhead, the man known (up to this point) as "Henry Gale" is quick to order people to the crash sites; they are obviously no strangers to hapless travellers landing on their shores. And creepiest of all is the fact that through the crowds of people coming out of their "suburban" homes, not one child is to be seen. Any long-time watcher of the show knows how the Others are obsessed with kidnapping children, for reasons unknown.

"For reasons unknown" describes a lot of the plot points on LOST actually, and the only saving grace is that, for me at least, I feel like the writers know where this is going. Whenever a dangling plot thread rears its ugly head, I feel pretty confident that it will be resolved, eventually. A lot has been written in blogs and otherwise saying basically that TV is now the best visual medium for telling rich, meaningful, and original stories, and I believe it. Two or three hours in the cinema versus the 20-plus hours in a TV season, it's easy to see how formerly-lowly television can dig deeper into characters and settings than the movie-screen. A big sea-change in television writing is here: audiences are now assumed to have attention spans and everything isn't tied up with a nice moral every week. The cinema, meanwhile, keeps churning out remake after remake (come on, Scorsese's new film is a remake of an Asian movie?!?), and few movies lately have connected the visual to the emotional like the classics of the past.

So let's hope that the sure-hand of the LOST writers continues to lead us through Season 3, because there is a lot of potential waiting here! Jack, Kate, and Sawyer had been taken prisoner by the Others at the end of Season 2, and it is still unclear as to why those three were chosen. One very big possibility is that they are the most prominent love triangle on the island; when emotions are involved people can be made to do VERY irrational things. The Others are certainly into manipulation, and there really is no greater threat than that of pain unto someone you love.

Doctor Jack is being held in a glass cell, looked over by Juliet and stubbornly refusing to eat or do much of anything. Kate is forced to shed her jeans and t-shirt look for a slightly demeaning flowery dress, and has a creepy breakfast on the beach with "Henry Gale" in a classic dinner with the enemy scene. And poor Sawyer is trapped in a cage not unlike that of a lab rat where, if you push the food button too many times, a huge jolt of electricity will throw you across the cage. Eventually Sawyer does figure out this food conundrum and in one of the funniest scenes of the premiere he earns himself some feed and a fish biscuit.

What are the Others trying to do here? Is it behavioural testing? Cult indoctrination? Sadistic torture? Are the Others the remnants of the Dharma Initiative, a group of idealistic 70's scientists who, bent on improving the world, built an array of research stations across the island? There is so much history here that we need to trust that the writers will give it to us, someday. Patience is already wearing thin for some viewers, it seems, who believe that the writers are just pulling things out of the air as they go along. Perhaps the complete mythology-meltdown of the later seasons of The X-Files still scares these people to this day. I think the beauty of LOST is that the background mythology is only one part of the tapestry of the show; the characters and their development are really what make the show work so well. The slower pace of the storytelling allows us to dig deeply into the daily life on the Island while flashbacks illuminate the lives of our beloved characters and tie into their current trials in interesting ways.

All I know is that The Powers That Be behind LOST have hooked me in for another season with these prominent questions about the Others. But even without the riddles, after two whole seasons viewers have bonded with the castaways on the Island. We care about these people and we want them to survive. Peeling back the layers of these mysteries should help them do just that. That's really where the balance of mythology and character-drama should be, and I hope that LOST can walk that tightrope for a while longer.

The Fall TV Season Part 1, or: What New Show is Worth my Precious Time?

"Look, it's me in a comic-book I found when I teleported to New York City! Hey, why don't you believe me?" Masi Oka from Heroes on NBC.

Yes, it's that time of year again: the days are getting shorter, the leaves are getting ready to let go of the trees, and TV networks are throwing shows at us like each one is the second coming of MASH. Yes, I'm sure Brothers and Sisters is great, and surely Kidnapped is gripping... no wait, that's been cancelled already. Much like the leaves, a few "new" shows are dropping off already. And some arrive pretty old and tired to begin with. So the question I'm always faced with at this time of year is: how will I spend my limited time in front of the TV?

See, some shows have already earned my trust. We've already got a good relationship going, had a few good times in the past, and they've left me on a good note before they went off for the summer. These shows have proven themselves already, and I'll be catching up with them again. I'll also be writing about their new season premieres soon, I'm talking about LOST and Battlestar Galactica here people, and their season openers have both been amazing in different ways. But more about that later!

Now we must look at the new crop. The mysterious strangers that give you tantalizing glimpses into their potential, promising you everything under the high heavens, begging you to watch. It's kind of intimidating, starting a new relationship with a show. You've got to be ready to make the leap, to invest yourself fully in this new world it's creating in front of you. It really does take a lot to get me to jump into a new show from the beginning: it has to be intriguing, it has to be different, it has to jump out at me somehow. LOST managed to hook me two years ago; something new has done it this year when I was least expecting it.

The best new show of the 2006 TV season is Heroes on NBC, Monday nights. Two episodes in and I am completely hooked already. Right off the bat many have compared it to LOST with its large, interconnected cast of multicultural characters and deep sci-fi style storyline. Others have compared it to Unbreakable because of its serious treatment of seemingly normal human beings coming to terms with the fact that they are, in fact, superhuman. The comparison to Unbreakable is justified here, even though I didn't enjoy that movie. It took itself FAR too seriously, while Heroes finds the perfect balance for me.

It is a show about a diverse group of seemingly normal people discovering that they have superpowers. An average-joe male nurse is convinced that he can fly. A drug-addicted painter creates images of the future. A beat cop discovers that he can read people's minds. A pretty cheerleader throws herself from a bridge in front of her friend's video camera to prove that she is... UNBREAKABLE! Sorry, I had to.

So some are shocked, some are scared, some are downright disturbed. And one in particular is REALLY freaking excited. He is Hiro, one of the best characters to hit TV screens in a long time. He is an excitable Japanese cubicle-dweller who discovers (somehow) that he can bend the space/time continuum. As we meet him, he's staring down the clock in his cubicle to try and make it go backwards. Once he manages to do it, he proceeds to run around his office, arms flailing, screaming and yelling. He is continually telling his friend about how he will use his powers for good and not evil, and wonders if he should use a secret identity. He is honestly a joy to watch, and works as a complete antithesis to the usual burdened and tortured superhero: this guy knows the comics, embraces the "destiny" of a superhero, and runs towards the challenges before him with open arms. Masi Oka does a wonderful job with this character, pulling off a complete innocence that is so natural, funny, and above-all, watchable.

Not that Heroes is all fun and games mind you! In the second episode we are introduced to the gruesome works of a super-powered serial killer who likes to cut open the heads of his victims. And there is already the looming image of a nuclear detonation in New York City that our heroes will have to contend with. And those cliff-hanger endings! The show is only two episodes in and it's already becoming known for throwing some incredible twists into the last few minutes of the show. Episode 2 in particular blew me away with a much closer view of that "looming" nuclear blast than I was expecting. The real beauty here is that these twists don't feel tacked-on and stay an organic part of the story, just ramping it up a notch at the end of the episode like good TV is supposed to do.

This is certainly going to be an interesting series, and I was glad to hear that the show has already been picked up for a full season. Wow, smart TV executives, who would have thought? The true appeal of Heroes is that it seems to have found the balance between character-driven stories and a deeper over-arching plot, the same balance that I hope LOST will find again in its third season. But that is a subject for the next time! Until then, I will be keeping the streets safe with my own super-power, the ability to flare my nostrils on command! It impresses my girlfriend anyway, although I have the sneaking suspicion that I'm NOT the only one who can do it. Anyone out there have any super-powers to tell of? Be sure to let me know, you never know when they might come in handy...

Musings from Dragon*Con 2006

Wow, I don't even know how to begin to describe Dragon*Con.

It's a convention that's all about the people you meet, so I guess I'll start there.

Every person you will meet at Dragon*Con is interesting. Normal, boring, run-of-the-mill people will not wait the entire year for the one weekend where they can pack into sweaty hotels in Atlanta to dress like their movie hero of choice. Let's say, Jack Sparrow. Or Boba Fett. Or a Stormtropper with a hawaiian shirt on. There isn't time enough in the world to see all the costumes that pass through the halls of Dragon*Con, and I never stopped marvelling at the creativity of it all.

But I wasn't in Atlanta to gape around looking at costumes (as exciting as that is), I was on the job man! All business, no time for fun whatsoever. Not one smile was to be seen on anyone from the AbbyShot team the WHOLE weekend. Of course, I'm only joking, if there's one thing Newfoundlanders know how to do, it's how to do a good job while having the best possible time doing it! We worked hard in our lovely (if a bit small) booth each day, meeting lots of interesting people who stopped in from places all over the United States. Many were very pleased to see the astounding movie-inspired AbbyShot coats in person instead of just on the net. And those who hadn't heard of AbbyShot before left with a brochure and a smile on their face. And if my super-human sales skills were sharp enough for certain stretches of the day, some people even bought coats off me! Yes, yes, team effort and all that, but this is my blog so: I sold some coats! *ahem* I mean, team effort, team effort. Seriously though, everyone did really well for the FIRST time AbbyShot ever sold coats at a con.

Although the booth did dominate our time at Dragon*Con, when we were out of the Exhbitor's Hall these ridiculous stores of energy came out of lord-knows-where to let us all take in lots of fun/hilarious/exciting stuff in the evenings. On our first night there, for example, we went to a lovely Japanese restaurant not far from the Con where the chefs would come out and fry up your food right in front of your eyes while spinning and throwing their utensils in complicated-looking ways.

One of the coolest things happened Saturday morning: the parade! Yes, Dragon*Con has a full-scale fan parade every year where different groups dress up according to the theme of their choice and march through the streets of Atlanta. The streets of Atlanta obviously fill with onlookers who can't believe what it is they're seeing. Myself and my coworker Justin went out bravely on Saturday morning, decked out in our AbbyShot Mad Max jackets, to join a Mad Max fan group for the parade. We went to the park where the parade was supposed to start and we were blown away. The amount of people in costume, along with the detail of the costumes and the variety of inspirations, was just astounding. The amount of people in full Stormtrooper gear on a hot Atlanta morning still boggles my mind. And those guys who recreated the Ghostbusters car! And the group who covered pretty much the entire cast of Monty Python and the Holy Grail complete with monk holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. And the list goes on. But we were in for a treat when we finally found the Mad Max group hanging out like badasses WAY in the back of the procession. A huge Road Warrior fan named David had done up an old truck he apparently got for 200 bucks into a rolling symbol of anarchy. There were skulls painted on it, a gun mounted on the back, and two bodies attached to sticks on the front bumper. And then he provided a bunch of people with armour made partially out of old car scraps. This was FINE work, and I was proud to be marching with this crazy bunch! Once the truck's engine finally started (after a few good old college tries) and we were rolling down the street, with David in full bad-guy mode making fun of puny hybrid cars, we already knew we'd never forget this Dragon*Con.

Saturday night was the Browncoat Shindig (a "Browncoat" being a fan of Firefly/Serenity) and it was so fun it pretty much graduated past shindig-level to become a hootenanny. Definitely better than a hoedown. Anyway, AbbyShot had helped a group of entreprising Browncoats to promote their documentary about Firefly fandom (called Done the Impossible) so we were already a pretty popular crew in this particular circle. That and we make a kickass leather replica of the browncoat. So one of the girls, inspired by the Celtic music that was playing, decided to teach Brian, one of the makers of the documentary, how to play the spoons like a Newfoundlander. Much to the general mirth of the rest of the team, I was hit on by a girl who thought she was Firefly's resident tough guy, Jayne Cobb; she was drinking vodka like it was water, she demanded to try on the leather Mad Max jacket I was wearing, and then stuck her wool cap on top of my head. I just didn't want to get hurt really. I'm sure she's a nice girl though! Many laughs were had in the room later about how this girl could have eaten me for breakfast. It's funny because it's true.

Sunday night was even more fun for one obvious reason: Karaoke! It's not just for Asian businessmen anymore folks! And this was karaoke at a sci-fi/fantasy convention at that, so the weirdest mixture of songs I had ever heard in one night were soon running through the room. Everything was represented, from AC/DC to Johnny Cash to Nine Inch Nails to 90's white guy rap (House of Pain and Vanilla Ice Ice baby!). Somehow, the joy (huh?) of hearing Vanilla Ice at a Dragon*Con karaoke night even got me up in front of the whole crowd of people to do my own white-guy version of the running-man. Don't ask me why, it just kind of... happened. The AbbyShot ladies tried to one-up me by singing an awesome rendition of the Dixie Chicks' Goodbye Earl that brought the house down, but I wasn't finished my night of embarassing dance moves yet. No, eventually the last song came along, and some genius (I mean that) decided to sing the David Lee Roth version of Just a Gigolo. Myself and two of the friendliest Browncoats you'll ever meet (John and Joe!) ended up in the front of the room doing some strange "Jazz Hands" type move to the classy beat. Oh, and I can't forget the finger-snapping and leg-kicking (and I do mean those in terms of dancing and not violent fighting, although the casual observer would probably have been unsure of what exactly we were doing). If there weren't any pictures to prove it, it's the kind of night I would have thought was too fun to actually have happened.

There was so much crammed into this one long weekend that it would take another long weekend to tell it all (sneaking into the pool anyone? Glass elevator races?) and I'm only just getting my sleep schedule back to normal after being home a week. It was madness, but in the best possible way: everyone at Dragon*Con drops their pretensions and their everyday defenses to celebrate those obsessions that, for the rest of the year, they probably hesitate to admit. I guess it just feels good to wear your heart on your sleeve sometimes.

Hopefully I'll be back again someday.